I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
