How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
