Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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