I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Randomize
