dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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