What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
