If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
