Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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