three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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