We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
