THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
