Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize