she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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