Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
