I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
