period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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