I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
