well most of my day revolves around power hour
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
