They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
