I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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