That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
