All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
