dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
