I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
