It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
