Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
