he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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