I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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