watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
