My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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