did you get engaged???
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
