I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
