I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
