In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
