That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
