My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
