i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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