peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
