Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
