literally had 100 drinks last night.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
