Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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