I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
