one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
