at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
