using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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