she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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