U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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