so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
