i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
