It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
